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hellagoodhair:

chilewebeopuntocom:

Arte

my hands can’t even open water bottles

(Source: bane-chilewebeopuntocom, via khaleesi-nikkilynn)

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thefrogman:

[reddit]
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(Source: michaelsocha)

youdtearthiscanvasskinapart:

supertrout95:

youdtearthiscanvasskinapart:

9 hours of studying and I can’t remember my own name but I can remember how to kill a man using a toothbrush so there’s that

the hell kind of classes are you taking?

I’m a forensic criminologist our slogan is “can’t run fast enough to be a serial killer so I’ll just help the police catch them”

(via alyssajillene)

If My Dog Could Talk
Dog: WAT DOING
Me: Nothing. I just stood up.
Dog: WHERE GO
Me: I'm literally walking 3 feet away. I'm not even leaving the room.
Dog: CAN I COME
Me: I mean sure but I'm literally just-
Dog: I COME TOO
Dog: WAT DOING
Me: I need to open this door.
Dog: I HALP
Me: No but you're in front of the door. Move please.
Dog: I HALP
Me: Sigh.
Dog: WHERE GOING
Me: I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.
Dog: CAN I COME
Me: Sure.
Dog: I SIT IN LAP
Me: No please don't you are-
Dog: I SIT IN LAP
Me: No there's no room and-
Dog: LAP
Me: No, sit on the floor and I'll pet you.
Dog: RIGHT HERE
Me: That's literally on top of my leg.
Dog: IT'S PERFECT PET ME
Me: I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-
Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
Me: I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-
Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
Me: I AM
Dog: I SIT IN LAP
Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME
Dog: HOLD SLOBBER TOY
Dog: SNEEZE IN UR FACE
Me: .......

tropicalfruitbabe:

*doesn’t check bank account*
*pretends everything is fine*

(via falling-under16)

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room42:

same
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(Source: jachristian, via wesleykuch)

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animatedamerican:

awwww-cute:

A box of baby bengals

"What? No, I’m sorry, I ordered half a dozen mini bagels —”"Shut up, we’re keeping them."

animatedamerican:

awwww-cute:

A box of baby bengals

"What? No, I’m sorry, I ordered half a dozen mini bagels —”
"Shut up, we’re keeping them."

(via falling-under16)

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(Source: bzdziagwa, via ivyoffthewall)

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wordsandturds:

i was looking for free furniture but maybe thats not what i was meant to find

wordsandturds:

i was looking for free furniture but maybe thats not what i was meant to find

(via washedawaybyrain)

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